Lights and Shadows
by Lannies
Summary: Some daily basis and memories of the past of 2p German brothers and 1p German brothers.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Some daily basis and memories of the past of 2p German brothers and 1p German brothers.

Warning: I am not a native English speaker so forgive me if there's any grammar mistakes. Also, feel free to point out the mistakes if there's any and it bothers you.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

Lights and Shadows Chapter 1

Gilen Beilschmidt recalled the day when he was born.

Of course, Gilbert Beilschmidt, his counterpart, disliked him the day he appeared in front of him in the woods. The look that he shot at him was a mixture of disgust and anger, like he was looking at a filthy mouse rather than his own counterpart.

It was understandable, though. Considering his existence meant that the Teutonic had its dark side grew and had lost some of its kind potential, Gilbert's reaction was totally sensible.

Therefore, he quietly watched Gilbert turned away and walking away from him, acted like he was a stranger or nobody. He later then just followed up Gilbert as silent as possible.

And that is how they treated each other for the next hundreds of years. Gilen deals with the dark side of Teutonic and later the dark side of the Kingdom of Prussia. Since he worked mostly at night and Gilbert fighting at day, they didn't get to see each other too much. Therefore, they didn't bother to speak to each other at the early years. They were strangers living under the same roof, shadow and light may explain their relationship better. Who would speak to its shadow anyways? And who ever see its shadow talking to itself?

Thus, the unspoken rule was made and it made them peace until Prussia's boss decided to madly invading other countries and growing stronger rapidly. These were the worst days of his life. HE WAS TOTALLY WORKING HIS ASS OFF. The consulting between countries were far more complicated than between knights and countries. It exhausted him and yet the most tired part was to speak to Gilbert about those underground agreements so that that dumbass wouldn't violate any of them during the day.

He thought the talks wouldn't be so bad at first . However, when he got back from the meetings with weary eyes and some small cuts on his face and neck(It was normal for the countries playing knives or whatever weapons during the meeting to threaten each other) at dawn to knock on Gilbert's door, the other just opened up the door and shut it hard immediately when recognized him.

NO. YOU HARD HEADED BASTARD.

Then the first talk ended up with Gilen furiously knocking Gilbert's door like a crazy woman and shouting out the underground agreements as loud as possible so that hopefully the agreements would stick in Gilbert's mind with his voice.

That day he learned that they were made by humans and humans just disgusted their evil side naturally, so are them, too.

Sometimes he just wished that Adam and Eve had never ate that stupid apple so that he wouldn't be like this. Be born and had to live a dark life.

TBC

Notes:

I googled the 2p Hetalia and I know that most fanfics of the 2ps make them characters of the parallel world, but considering their dark characteristics I decided to set up like this. Reviewing is welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

2

Gilen heard sounds from garage and snapped back from his old memories, he immediately stood up from the sofa and took a glimpse on the clock beside TV before he hurried into the kitchen. He cursed when he saw that it was already five thirty, the time his brother come back from work.

It would do no good telling his brother that he lost his mind in the old memories and thus didn't cook the dinner, so he just sighed and took out his phone to call pizzas.

He ended the phone call when he heard his brother got out of the garage and walked towards the kitchen, so he just grabbed a cup on the counter and get some water, pretending he called pizzas far more earlier and didn't forgot the time.

His brother's steps stopped at the kitchen.

"You…"

"I called pizzas so just shut up and wait."

Gilen held up the cup of water he just got for himself and turned around to met his brother's purplish red eyes staring at him.

Luzifer Beilschmidt let out a smirk on his face for that.

He met Luzifer Beilschmidt some normal day when he was telling Gilbert underground agreements with Austria in impatience and sarcasm tone. Well, both of them were always talking with each other in sarcasm, that way they managed to work easier around each other surprisingly. Then, Gilbert just stopped suddenly when a little knock occurred on the door.

They both stared at the door when they both knew it should be Ludwig, little Germany just born days ago when they kicked France's ass off. No one dare to interfere like this and Bismarck nor Wilhelm done that before, either.

It would be too late for Gilen to avoid seeing Ludwig now, so they just looked at each other silently and made an agreement. Gilbert had decided that it was not good for Ludwig to meet Gilen at such a young age the day Ludwig born and Gilen agreed on that, too. Since he always felt uncomfortable around innocent kids and Ludwig was certainly too young to learn the dark side of the nations. Plus Gilbert didn't want Ludwig see a man who has his awesome face but looked horribly messed up(Gilen never care too much about his appearance). Anyways, Ludwig never known Gilen's existence.

Then the silent agreement had made between Gilbert and Gilen as the second soft knock occurred. Gilen walked into the far corner of the room to hide in the shades while Gilbert went to opened the door.

He was relieved when blended himself into the shades perfectly, but suddenly Gilbert gasped behind him after opening the door. He wondered what had happened and the awkward silence went on for a few minutes before Gilbert called his name for the first goddamn time.

"Gilen."

His name was given by Gilbert but the other one never called him that name. Thus it took him seconds to react on it. He turned and saw that, little, vulnerable Ludwig at the door side, gold hair like sunlight and blue eyes as the pure sky, innocence as an angel.

However, the one standing beside him was a child with brownish gold hair and purplish red cold eyes.

No, not this early, Gilen thought. No way.

But the child just stood there and never disappear.

He stepped out of the shadows and moved slowly toward the two, avoiding eye contact with Ludwig but locked on the other one. He knew what he might look like in Ludwig's eyes, skin pale as a ghost, face and neck with scars and bandages, grey hair tied lose in a ponytail, dark circles under his dark-blood color eyes, clothes filthy. His face is what similar to Gilbert but that even made it worse, Ludwig praise Gilbert and if you praise someone's greatness, it just hard to accept him look in such terrible appearance.

The kid got to have nightmare tonight, he thought and stopped in front of his brother and spoke to him flatly.

"You are Luzifer Beilschmidt, and I am your brother."

With that, he carried up the kid with one arm and soon hurried away, leaving the rest for Gilbert to deal on.

Then Luzifer bite him hard on his shoulder aggressively, teeth cut through his clothes into flesh.

TBC

Notes:

We are in slow progress.


	3. Chapter 3

3

"You're so temper today, that rare of you, bruder. " Luzifer said while Gilen walked pass him into the living room, the bemused and excited tone from Luzifer made him frown.

He sank into sofa and said tiredly, "Don't take that tone with me, like I am your prey and you are ready to hunt."

"Then don't act the way that would stir up my interest on you, bruder."

Luzifer kept staring at him for few more minutes, searching for more furious on his face but failed.

Thus he just turned and stepped into kitchen to get some beers as Gilen had expected.

He always knows how to handle his brother rightly, Luzifer had interest in hunting down people that he thinks wouldn't be taken down too easily. And Gilen should be the nearest target around him, for the reason that he taught everything to Luzifer just like Gilbert had trained Ludwig. What's more was that he even taught Luzifer in a more cruel way than Gilbert did to Ludwig and pushed his younger brother into the edge of death almost everytime.

Therefore, for the sake to prevent himself from being attack by Luzifer, he manage ed to pretend that all his skills got rusty after WW2 when it's completely untrue. But who cares, he had lied almost everything in his whole life and to act like harmless air in his house just a small one.

And he heard that Gilbert had done the same, acting like normal people like those bloody years never existed and take care the house chores while his brother gone for work like Gilen did.

They still share some similarities after all.

He took the controller and opened up TV when Luzifer sat beside him with beer in hand, there was a history program about Germany history showing on the TV. He paused for a second before changed into another movie channel, that was probably what he was watching before Luzifer came back home, also probably the reason why those old memories just came up suddenly, DAMN IT.

He just sat there with Luzifer quietly and looking into TV blankly for a long time.

The years of WW2 was his second-most-dreadful years in his life.

With Ludwig's people gone completely insane under that bastard Hitler's control, Ludwig himself was totally puzzled, too. He obeyed his boss with a judgment of five-year-old and let Luzifer took control of all military forces to kill his own people, which was actually tended to suicide himself. However, Gilen can do nothing about it.

That was probably the best years of Luzifer 's life, though. He has a love in war, battle and killing. He also made his first group of friends during those years, too. The counterpart of Japan and Italy.

And Gilbert's most furious years in his whole life, probably.

At that time, Gilen had no choice but to follow the orders to stay by Gilbert 's side to take care of the east. Hearing Gilbert cursed everytime when that bastard Hitler made any command on them. Ruby eyes filled with furious but unable to refuse every order. They always knew better than humans did, but they were not allowed to make decisions. Their wills were controlled by the humans. That was probably the most unbearable rules for nations when they knew their leaders were insane but have no choice and followed.

They gave Gilen military forces, too. Humans expected him to act like Luzifer, which he didn't. The humans just don't understand(even now they don't), he is the counterpart of Gilbert and that means he has almost opposite personality to Gilbert. With Gilbert already aggressive, he was the more peaceful one and more into the ruses behind. Eventually, he just let Gilbert controlled the military and pretended it was him. And since the state of WW2 almost has nothing to do with the underground agreements, he just gone quiet and shadowy like he always did.

That can almost call a short vocation in his life, but Gilen was just kind of waiting to be defeated and lost everything when the war end, especially when they attacked that damn Russia, he really thought it would be the end of his life.

The United Nations later then decided to dissolved and abolished Prussia officially at 1947. They blamed Prussia for all of it when they all knew the accusation was bullshit. What the fuck was that older brother should discipline the younger one and when failed he should be responsible for all the things his younger brother had done? NONSENSE. They all knew that it should be that fucking Hitler be responsible for driving Germany crazy but that man just suicide. And people need some punishments to be done.

That day when Gilbert was supposed to be executed, the other nations didn't even bother to executed Gilen as well, since the counterpart would disappear as soon as the other died. Shadow don't exist when light don't. Thus, he just stood aside and watched US pulled out his gun and pointed at Gilbert, ready to end their lives.

Suddenly, he just couldn't accept it. 

He can accept to die because Prussia was not really a country anymore when Hilter abolished Prussia's constitution and conference at 1933, leaving only the administrations to run. But he can't accept to die because of some bullshit accusation and responsibility.

That was probably why he just rushed forward to pushed Gilbert away as the gun fired, bullet hit hard into his shoulder but he didn't care about the outburst of burning pain and blood dripping down. He had gone through far more worst than that.

"Wiped out his name and renamed him East Germany or something," he said when everyone looking at him unbelievably , "Since you guys are ripping his territory into Russia and make an East Germany or whatever country by that, it shouldn't be hard to make him that new nation. He had survived in renamed in the past, it should work, too."

"But the sentence was made and you have no authority to -"

"Well, I would like that," Ivan smiled happily and interrupted Alfred's protest, "It wouldn't contradict the sentence. If he becomes East Germany, Prussia certainly doesn't exist as well. I'm looking forward to that, it should be good to have you two in my house. "

Gilbert's ruby eyes glared at Gilen with silent anger.

He glared back and suddenly shot a look at Ludwig, leading Gilbert look at his younger brother, too.

Gilbert would accept it when he saw how relieved Ludwig looked when Russia agreed with his suggestion and how many nations had to grab Ludwig in place to keep him from interfering the execution.

And he would deal with Russia later.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

4

Luzifer finished his pizzas fast once them arrived and soon got a call from the government, asking him to come immediately for emergency.

It was a normal daily basis for Luzifer, his work time was never regular, sometimes a whole night, sometimes weeks and sometimes he had a month off. Gilen was also like that when Germany was born until WW2 ended and he passed all his works to Luzifer, the younger one just done well on it as he did before.

He turned off the TV and stared into the air absentmindedly, unlike Gilbert, who always full with energy and always find things to do to entertain himself, Gilen has a lack on emotions and get bored on things quickly. He usually slept or paint paintings to kill time. You only need to think nothing and focus on the colors and lines and shapes when you are painting. It was Friedrich who insisted on him and Gilbert learning either art or music, so he chose art while Gilbert chose another.

Yeah, maybe he should grab some paints and paint something before he kill himself out of boredom—

Then a knock stopped him from doing that.

It was Ludwig came to visit.

They lived separately after the wall being tore down. That day Gilbert rushed into the side of West Germany and Luzifer just stepped into East Germany silently and stood in front of him. It was some unspoken rules again, after that day Gilbert just lived in west with Ludwig and Luzifer with him in east.

Ludwig would visit them once in a while, though. Gilbert doesn't like Ludwig visiting them, but he never try to stop Ludwig from visiting them, as according to Ludwig. Gilen just shrugged at that, he doesn't really care about Ludwig visiting or what Gilbert think of it. Luzifer once said that he was like some old man waiting to die everyday, not caring about anything and he didn't denied that.

"Luzifer just gone to work, you want something to drink?" Gilen let Ludwig in and the younger nation just politely rejected the offer, saying that he needed to drive home afterwards.

Thus he just went back to sat on the sofa and patted the empty space beside him to imply Ludwig to sit. There was a hesitate and anxious expression on the younger nation's face. Something had happened, Gilen thought. Ludwig took off his coat and scarf and hung them on the clothes stand beside the door, then he came to sit beside Gilen.

"What happened?" Gilen asked in a tender tone, it made him unease to speak like this, but he just can't say"Spit it out you nerd" or "Say it out brat" like he speaks to Luzifer. Ludwig just don't deserve to be treated like that.

"Gilbert was bitten by my dog,"wow that was nice, good doggy, "It was a week ago, but the wound doesn't heal." Gilen frozen from hearing that.

FUCKING GILBERT.

"He didn't try to hide it from you?" Gilen just burst out before he can stop himself. Fucking idiot Gilbert, did his skills of acting normal really rotten? Goddamn it Gilbert you stupid—

"He did, and done it well." Ludwig was surprised at his reaction, but continue to answer his question,"If I didn't have the thought to check the wound again yesterday, I wouldn't find out till my death."

Gilen cursed, then cleared his throat awkwardly,"So you come to—"

"Make sure you are okay."

Gilen stared at Ludwig's sky blue eyes, not sure what to say. Gilbert could disappear in any second, but Ludwig decided to come to check on him. They were never close. Sometimes he would caught Ludwig looking at him after he spoke to their leaders or when they walked past each other in the hallway. But Ludwig only looked, with curious, hesitation and uncertainty. And even if Ludwig wanna to talk to him, he would just hurry away and pretending he was busy.

It was not like he dislikes Ludwig, but the child just have a lightness inside as Gilbert that made him avoided naturally. He was never used to communicate with someone that obviously didn't live in the dark side of the world. The light side of the world just seems so unreal to Gilen. That probably why he only paint something light on the paintings. Leave the dark to the real world and have only the light in the frictional paintings.

"Well, thanks for your concern, but you can just make a phone call to check on me. It's not necessary to come here." Gilen looked away and said flatly,"You should stay with Gilbert. Nothing happened to me yet, the shadow always last a little bit longer than the light. It's how it works. Oh and please don't tell Luzifer about it….OUCH WHAT 'D HECK!"

Suddenly Ludwig just grabbed his wrists fiercely and pulled him back to pinned him on the wall. His head hit hard on the wall. Then he tried to yanked his hands free but failed on the attempt.

"AND WHY THE FUCK IS THAT YOU TWO JUST WOULD NOT TELL!"

He was shocked at Ludwig 's sudden anger and found these pure blue eyes filled with pain and hurt. Oh no, this is not good. Totally disastrous. Gilbert, why would you just let your younger brother check your wound again?

"…Well we, we just don't,"Gilen spoke reluctantly, "Nobody ever tells others they are gonna disappear, so we just don't."

"Ludwig, I think it's like…humans, yeah, humans, they all knew that their grandparents might die in anytime, but they just live normally, continue their daily basis until the moment of death comes. Their grandparents also won't say something like'I think I might die within years or couple months'. I am not good at explaining things, do you get what I am saying?"

It was probably the first time in his life that he spoke so many words. He already felt tired about that. But Ludwig didn't respond, only looked at him with complex expression that he can't read clearly.

There was an utter silence between the two for minutes. Then Gilen yanked his hands free when he felt that Ludwig's grab came lose, but the younger one didn't move his body away from him at all.

"Didn't Gilbert explain or tell you anything about it?" Gilen probably gonna kick Gilbert's ass if that dumbass didn't, leaving this all-messed-up Ludwig for him to deal.

"He did," Ludwig paused for a while before continuing, "He told me things about Brandenburg and my other older siblings, said that we used to have a big family until they decided to be united…and started disappearing one by one."

"And?"

"He said it's their wish to have me born, and they all understand and accept the fact that it means most of them are going to disappear, then be reborn as me together. They live as long as I live."

That was completely Gilbert style. "What's the problem then?"

Gilen frowned, it sounds good enough for him to comfort Ludwig.

"It just…you are like them." Ludwig said with sadness filling up his eyes, "The older sibling that devoted for my existence so much, but I never really get to know."

Gilen was stunned.

This was way too much.

Stop that.

TBC

Notes:

I really wants some reviews, pleaseeee


	5. Chapter 5

5-1

He didn't deserve so much concern from Ludwig.

"I am nothing like that."

Gilen finally said, made a deep breath before letting the rest out, ''I never thought anything about my works were for you. Never, in my whole life. They were assigned to me, so I finished them, that it. Ludwig, I am nothing like you guys. Just don't take the wrong idea about me. And don't, ever felt sorry about not being close to Luzifer and me. You know, like humans, again, they all have kins that are not close to or even like strangers, but they still live."

That was true, Gilen thought, reached out a hand to tug a strand that fell down from Ludwig's hair back. When he was working back in the old days, he was always thinking about how sucked up it was to deal with other countries' dark counterparts and how to threaten or bribe other countries with weapons and profits. Since he knew somehow the dark counterpart of a country was what actually make a country exist without being slaughter by other countries like a nice cattle, he was just doing the works to keep himself alive.

Like the day he saved Gilbert's life from that goddamn United Nations stuff, he just simply couldn't accept to die of bullshit reasons.

Gilen tried again to push Ludwig away from him, this time the younger nation obeyed. But it seem like Ludwig still could not accept his words, he frown at Gilen and looked like he was trying to understand a hard math concept and still couldn't quite get it.

"Ludwig, you should just go home and stay with Gilbert." Gilen sighed and feeling really, really tired now. He stood up and pulled Ludwig up, leading the younger one to the doorway and got his coat and scarf to him. Ludwig put on his coat silently and while he wrapped his scarf on, he looked more calm and ease.

"Ludwig." Before Ludwig turn the doorknob and leave, Gilen hesitated for seconds and said, "What I said before, you know, doesn't mean that I really don't care or have no affection toward you."

Ludwig looked at him surprisingly.

"The painting of cornflowers that you received every year at your birthday with no name on, that was me."

With that, the younger nation smiled and finally really looked relieved now.

"I keep every one of them."

Gilen cursed and blushed at that.

5-2

Gilen woke up one day morning and knew this would be his last day somehow. Maybe it was because of the peace he felt and the urge to gone somewhere, he knew Gilbert felt probably felt the same way.

So when he received a phone call from Gilbert, mumbling about Ludwig insisted on him to call Gilen to come to their house, Gilen wasn't surprised at all.

It sounded like what Ludwig would do when he heard from Gilbert that this would be the last day of them on the Earth.

However, Luzifer was nowhere to be seen in the house, so he just assumed that he was already out to work. He got his car in the garage and drove through East Germany to the West Germany, looking at people walking, chatting and busying on the streets. He certainly had lived long enough, Gilen thought. There was nothing left on the Earth he had to worry about. It was the age of peace in this country now.

When he reached Ludwig's house in the West Germany, he parked his car in front of Ludwig's house then walked up to the front door to rang the doorbell. Surprisingly, it was Gilbert who opened the door.

"Thought that the awesome me would never see you again these years." Gilbert smirked at him, and pulled him in. Gilen shrugged and replied, "If you are implying that you missed me that would be kind of disgusting." Gilbert laughed at that and messed his already messy hair up. He slapped away Gilbert's hand and took off his shoes. Gilbert looked at him thoughtfully and said, "The day you were born, I wasn't being angry or disgusted at you."

"I was just being angry and disgusted about the humans...thought I'd let you know, but afterward you just acted like you didn't care."

"You know, that was because you acted totally like a bastard that made me doubt if you were the real darker counterpart and I was the lighter one." Gilen replied with a smirk that looked exactly the same as Gilbert, "And I also know that you never like talking to me about the underground agreements because you have bad temper if you get up too early and I always came back at fucking dawn. GILBERT WHAT'D HECK HAD GOTTEN IN YOUR MIND? Something like I am gonna die so I wanna say nice things is really disgusting. WE DISLIKE EACH OTHER BY NATURAL AND NO REASON TO BE GUILTY ABOUT THAT. I never see you felt guilty about hating carrot you dumbass. Plus, did you just forget that IF WE DIE TOGETHER THEN WE WOULD SEE EACH OTHER SOON ENOUGH."

Gilbert burst out laughing with Gilen rolling his eyes, complaining 'can you just stop' and 'this is so stupid'. When Gilbert finally stopped he patted Gilen hard on his shoulder and said, "West told me what you had said when he visited you last time, I thought you are the one that had lost your mind."

"Which is totally nonsense, I talked that way because your vulnerable little brother looked like a lost doggy and what I said I meant it, but that doesn't mean I want some family affection from you, you idiot."

"Well," Gilbert said with his ruby eyes sparkling with mischievous, "But I also meant what I said."

Gilen mumbled, "We talked long enough."

"So?"

"You put an iron cross underneath my pillow like one hundred years ago and I am still wearing it today, you satisfied?" Gilen sighed and pulled down the zipper of his jacket, showing the iron cross that hung on his neck.

Gilbert gave him a bright smile for that.

5-3

He shouldn't be surprised when he saw Luzifer stood still in the middle of living room with Ludwig's three dogs being all nerves on around him.

"I cut him in the middle of his work," Ludwig was sitting on the couch, and smiled uneasily when he caught sight of him, "Still think it is necessary to tell him-BRUDER WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP THAT."

"LEEEEET CUDDLE!" Gilbert just literally jumped on his younger brother, and the two soon pay no attention on the others with one struggled to pull free and the other just won't let go.

Luzifer stared at Gilen with a bad mood.

Which Gilen totally ignored and looked straight into those purplish red eyes, "I got a whole basement of paintings and you can just burn them or leave them alone or do whatever you want to do to them. And remember to learn how to do the house chores yourself or just hired someone to help you. I don't recommend you to live with Ludwig to solve this problem, and you know why."

"Then that wise of you to remind me something you think I know already, bruder." Luzifer smirk, suddenly gritting his teeth, "Never thought you would die other than in my hands."

"No need to bother you to do that. Thanks for the offer anyways. Sorgen, bruder."

"Natürlich."

"Gilen." Gilbert gasped, "I think it's time."

5-4

His body was started to be transparent and turned into flickers of light, that was strange though. Considering he is the dark counterpart, he turned to light like Gilbert.

His eyesight was getting blurred, but he still can see Gilbert like, floating above Ludwig since his lower body was totally gone to flickers of light, he smiled at Ludwig brightly and Ludwig was stunned. Luzifer had his poker face on as usual.

He heard Gilbert said 'Ich liebe dich' gently to Ludwig, and Ludwig replied the same but he couldn't clarify Ludwig's expression.

Then he saw Gilbert turned to him, saying-

"We had lived long enough, with no regrets left behind, see ya soon, bruder."

Gilen closed his eyes, and replied the same.

End.

Notes:

I kind of rushed it so I might fix it someday after.

This is my first fanfic and I am glad that I finished it, hope ya all enjoy this story!

Reviews are very welcome!


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